Things to Think About: Family Vacations and Personal Travel Styles

Independent. I love my family, and since moving to Texas I see them a whole lot less than I ever have for the last 24 years of my life. I miss our Sunday dinners, meeting up for pedicures/drinks/lunch or whatever else we did as a family. Sure, I try to talk to everybody at least weekly, more if I have time, but it's not the same as actually seeing them and being with them. I finally was able to participate in a family vacation last month for the first time in six years, and while it was fantastic being back in our collective favorite place, Moab, UT, part of me couldn't wait until it was over. Now, I know that doesn't sound very nice, especially since I never see my family any more, so let me explain: I went from seeing my family all the time while I lived in Nebraska, to moving to Texas and never seeing them. I went back at the end of May for a week, but also had plenty of other people to visit, and we had a lot to do in the short week I was there. Otherwise, I've Skyped with them once, call everyone weekly or so, plus we have a running group text for all five of us, as well as Facebook.

Home for a few days

Then, I met up with my parents and siblings in the middle of the desert and got to spend quality time with them all before my little brother shipped off to basic training. Unfortunately, I think we spent too much quality time together. I have grown into a very independent person, and my travel style has evolved with me; I like doing whatever I please, whenever I please, wherever I please, and dislike someone telling me I can't go because they don't want to. I like to be doing things, moving from sun up (or before) to sun down (or after) and have no patience. At all. If I waited on someone to go with me I would never have traveled to as many places or have been on as many adventures as I have. With that in mind, I'd really prefer to not have to ok every activity with the majority or the person who is driving, and being at the mercy of others reminded me way too much of my teenage years, and I was forcefully regressed back to being 16 years old again. We held way too many arguments over stupid shit that doesn't matter, simply because we were hot or tired or way too damn similar and each of us is stubborn to a fault. Have I mentioned that I don't take orders well? Especially if I think they're stupid or redundant. It got to the point that for the first time ever, ever, while on one of my adventures, I just wanted to go home.

I actually ate real meals. Only because somebody else cooked!

There were several times where I refused to speak to anybody. Childish, maybe, but what do you expect when I feel like I'm being treated like I'm 16 again? I know, I know, I should have been a grown up and said what was on my mind in a nice, calm manner, but when you're cooped up in a fabric and metal box with a bunch of people for an extended period of time, rational thought goes out the window. It's probably a good thing that I didn't open my mouth and said what I was really thinking.

We all still love a good thunderstorm. That hasn't changed a bit!

Trying to be positive, I did learn several things about myself and my travels while on our family vacation. For example, while I love my family very much, I will likely never go on another vacation with the whole group. There are too many people (yes, five people are too many people,) too small of a space, and we couldn't get away from each other. Plus we all are just so stubborn that we butt heads all the time anyway. As anybody who has traveled with me in the last 18 months can attest to, my adventures start very early in the morning and end at or after sunset. I like to pack my day full, preferably with a hike or two plus some good driving/sightseeing. My family doesn't work like that. I understand that not everybody likes to travel that way, and I am aware that I might change my wants in the future, but right now I refuse to travel with people who can't or won't do things my way. It's not fun for anybody if we argue about what we're going to do and how we're going to do it.

I was so excited to share a hiking experience with my family.

The gist? I want to travel with less people or by myself more often. And by less people, I mean only one or two other like-minded people. I feel like I am very up-front with how I travel whenever somebody expresses interest in adventuring with me. I make a point to tell them that I get up early, am willing to drive very long hours with as few stops as possible, I hike a lot, and we likely won't be back to our campground until after dark. I always have a conversation before our trip to discuss meals, lodging (I strongly prefer tenting, btw) and to get a feel for how much they want to hike. I'm crazy, but not crazy enough to push someone past what they can handle. I'll scale it back if I'm hiking with a new person or with someone who doesn't have much experience. If they're a first time companion, we talk about comforts and abilities and I make sure they know that we have to have honest communication if we're both going to enjoy our adventure. I'm not interested in getting someone hurt; if I want to break a personal record I'll go alone.

Still was able to enjoy good times, despite our problems

Back to my family, even though we didn't get along all the time, I was sad to part ways. It will be a few months before I see them again, and going back to phone calls and texts isn't very satisfying. Alisha and I were able to spend one day longer together, and we explored several ancient Puebloan ruin sites that I'll write about later, but Mom, Dad and Austin headed back towards Nebraska when we parted ways. I do have to say, it was a very strange feeling knowing that we finished our family vacation and everyone was headed home, but their home is in Nebraska and my home is now in Texas. It was a nice trip, and it was incredibly difficult for me to leave the desert, but it was eye-opening in ways that I'm not sure I wanted to know. Things to think about, I guess.