TROT Virtual Race #1: Brazos Bend 50K

Self-sufficient. I hadn't exactly intended to run this particular race. I hadn't been planning on running it even before COVID-19 and quarantine and social distancing hit us all. I had been signed up to volunteer at an aid station for the race at Brazo's Bend State Park down by Houston, my preferred place to see gators, but when the race directors cancelled every race from late February through May my volunteering was cancelled as well. Then they rolled out the virtual options for the cancelled races, offering the same distances, bibs, shirts, and medals a participant would receive during the in-person race, with the slight adjustment of letting each person run when they can, where they can. I was sold.

Running a virtual race versus an in-person race is pretty much the same thing: you put one foot in front of the other and run the distance you signed up for in what is hopefully a decent amount of time. There are a few significant differences though, as I discovered during my first TROT (Trail Racing Over Texas) Virtual Run. First and foremost, you don't have the social aspect of the race when you're doing it on your own. In this case that's the whole point, but I found myself missing the other runners and race volunteers, all of whom would normally be ready with an encouraging word and a heap of snacks at the aid stations. The aid stations were another thing I sorely missed; instead of having a table full of a variety of foods, electrolytes, and water refills, I was responsible for my own fuel during my run, carried my own water, and otherwise had to take care of myself. Sure, I could have planned my course so that I did loops or laps that took me back to my car every 5-10 miles so that I could refuel there and not carry so much, but I don't yet have the will-power to keep going when I could easily call it quits, get in my car, and go home. During a virtual race, you are also responsible for planning your own route. While there are advantages to that (hello flat trails and no elevation gain!) there are also disadvantages in the form of poor planning or just plain boring routes. Again, I could have planned my route to take me past my car somewhat frequently, but I didn't want to risk giving up. Instead, I planned a route that would take me 13+ miles away from my car, essentially forcing me to complete the distance so long as I didn't turn around before I hit the end of the trail.

While I would have preferred to run the race on the originally intended course at Brazo's Bend, I think I did rather well for myself considering I changed plans about half a dozen times. When I signed up for this race I had hoped to run it at my local state park, so that I could be close to home and because I already know the trails there. That idea was dashed when Texas closed all the state parks in response to the virus, because apparently people here (and everywhere, really) can't follow instructions to social distance. I toyed with the idea of running on the roads around my house, but I get horrible shin splints when I run on concrete and really didn't want to suffer that much. Then I hoped to run the race on a national recreation trail about an hour south of my house, in the heart of one of four national forests here in Texas, but further digging the night before I wanted to run led to the discovery that most of the 20 mile trail is closed for one reason or another. Finally, I decided to run a trail I've hiked a few times in the past, when breaking my own personal distance records in previous years: Turkey Creek Trail at Big Thicket National Preserve.

I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting myself into for this run. I'd hiked Turkey Creek Trail before, knew it was flat, if somewhat boggy in places, and it was roughly 20 miles from end to end. Hurricane Harvey wrecked havoc on the preserve and surrounding area, though, and did enough damage to the south end of the trail that they had to close it until repairs can be made. This left me with just about 14 miles to work with, running out and back, plus adding another four miles somewhere to hit that 50k mark, or 31.1 miles. I could do it. And I was bringing Ghost, too.

Ghost has found his purpose in life ever since I started running with him. He's a giant baby and hates water and heights, but if I take him out for a run he forgets everything except keeping pace with (or leading) me. We arrived at the northern trailhead for Turkey Creek just before 8am on a cloudy, cool April morning, and set out right after loading up with food and water. Ghost has his own backpack, which allows him to carry his own snacks, water, and bowl, and gives me a break from carrying extra weight. I have my own hydration vest - a gift from Torrey - that is more than sufficient to carry water, sweet and salty snacks, a rain jacket, and other little things that I would otherwise find at an aid station table. I'm generally adamant about being self-sufficient (probably a trait from backpacking and my Type A personality) and while I would have liked to ditch the weight of so many bottles of water and instead filled up at aid stations, I had no issue in relying on myself to provide what I needed. Covered in bug spray and satisfied we had everything we needed, we began.

I am not, and never will be, a fast runner. I am much more invested in distance, in pushing myself as far as I can go, in the mental battle that takes place between the logical part of me that screams what the fuck do you think you're doing, you can't go that far, and the tiny but much louder part of me that crosses her arms, raises her eyebrows, and snaps back yes, I can. I am perfectly happy with a 12, 13, or 14 minute mile. Hell, 12 minute miles are fast for me. I am just fine with power hiking when I need a break. And so I am okay with the fact that Ghost and I started out great with 12 minute miles, then eventually slowed to 16 minute miles, with a few 20 minute miles sprinkled in when I slowed down to eat a bag of M&Ms and a handful of pretzles at miles 5, 15, and 25. And those two 10-minute breaks I took at miles 10 and 20 to change my socks, eat half a Kind bar and a pickle spear, and dig out another water bottle from the bottom of my pack? No big deal.

I took the social distancing orders to heart on this race, and only saw three other human beings during the entire 31 miles, and all of them were at the trailhead as I was finishing up. On the trail itself, other than a plethora of bugs, I saw two other living creatures: a young coyote who we surprised as we rounded a bend in the trail, whom I locked eyes with before it turned tail and fled up the path before disappearing in the brush, and a copperhead snake (yes, one of the venomous ones here in Texas) whom Ghost stepped right over before I even saw it stretched across the trail, whom didn't even move as I gave a dramatic gasp and jump away from it, yanking Ghost by the leash. Neither the coyote nor the snake bothered us, and we went on our way though I was decidedly more vigilant after seeing the copperhead. I had been in a headspace that's almost a trance, the meditation state that I fall into during long runs where I'm just aware enough to keep to the trail but also removed enough to not notice how my muscles ache, how my toes are sore, how my heartbeat throbs in my fingers. After the little reminder that there are things in the woods that could send my day into a downward spiral of awfulness I was a little more aware of my surroundings, and definitely kept my eyes on the trail both in front of myself and in front of Ghost.

We reached the beginning of the trail and my car at mile 27, right around seven hours after setting out. After a quick refill of water bottles and a purging of empty ones, reapplying bug spray because the mosquitoes were swarming after the repellent wore off after twenty miles and Ghost and I were being eaten alive, plus ditching Ghost's pack, we ran back to the trail. I needed to hit 31.1 miles to reach a 50k distance, and so needed to run out and back just a couple of miles. I was in no danger of quitting, despite being near my car; I was only four miles from finishing this, I felt great, and Ghost was happy to be without his pack. We were good! It's almost stupid to admit, but the only concern I had was my phone battery dying. I used my phone to track my distance and time, and if it died on me before I finished I wasn't sure if it would record my run or if it would be lost. I ran my fastest four miles at the very end of the race, desperate for my phone battery to last. I had 10% charge, and watched that number drop at an alarming rate during the last mile. I all but sprinted it, huffing and puffing through a stitch in my side and burning calf muscles, Ghost loping alongside me with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic as I ran circles around the tiny trailhead parking lot, trying to hit the last two tenths of a mile that would push me firmly over to my 50k distance. When I saw my distance numbers roll over I practically sobbed with relief, sprinting over to my car to plug my phone in while also hitting "finish" and "save workout" on the running app.

Only once I was sure that my phone was charging and my run was saved did I allow myself a little happy dance for completing my second 50K ever, my fourth race total. I showered Ghost with love and treats, so incredibly proud of him for not only finishing his first 50K distance but leading me for the entire way. He never once dragged behind, never once showed any sort of wish to slow down or stop. There were even times when he would pull insistently on the leash, clearly wanting to go faster, and it is probably because of him that I managed to shave 12 minutes off my time for that distance, finishing this 50K race in 7 hours 46 minutes. We will definitely be running a 50K together again, and it just so happens that I'm signed up for two more virtual races of that distance, with plans to sign up for four more once registration opens next month. While I might not have originally intended to run the Brazos Bend 50, and although I missed some of the things that come with a supported in-person race, virtual racing has definitely grown on me, and I'm absolutely sure Ghost enjoys it too.

A Snapshot and The Scoop: Kitten's First Beach

I went to the beach! While spending a weekend on the Gulf Coast of Texas there was no way I could pass up camping on a beach. Callie has been to the beach with me a few times, but this was Hoodoo's first trip . . . and it didn't really go well. My cat has no problem with water, but he really doesn't like the wind, and guess what happens on the beach. When he wasn't distracted by blowing feathers and flying bugs, Hoodoo made it pretty clear he had no desire to hang out in the wind. He was fine in the tent and behind something blocking the wind, but if he was exposed he meowed his displeasure. The only exception to that was just before sunrise, when I went for a walk with him and Callie before the world woke up. Hoodoo was thrilled to chase the bubbles in the surf, even braving a small wave that wet his paws. He pounced at the washed up sea grass and pawed at shells and took more than a few swipes at Callie when she shook the saltwater out of her fur after taking a dip. All in all, though, I probably won't be taking my cat back to the beach unless I can stop the wind, but I suppose there has to be some places that Hoodoo just isn't a fan of.

Leave me a comment below and tell me if your pet has a place that they don't seem to like. Where is it?

The Gila Mishap: Saving Myself

Self-Reliant. I would be lying if I said I woke up refreshed. Every inch of  my body hurt, from my blistered toes to the top of my head, which I had apparently bumped at some point the day before judging from the egg-sized lump on the side of my head. Neither Callie nor Ghost so much as lifted their head as I struggled out of my sleeping bag, reluctant to start the day. I still hadn't made up my mind whether I was going to head upstream or climb out of the canyon, and pondered the decision as I went about breakfast and breaking camp. I had half a mind to stay with the stream, terrified to leave the promise of water, though I had pretty much given up hope that the trail I was looking for was just around the next corner. I turned to my map and puzzled over it, trying and failing to pinpoint where I was. I knew that the second stream should be anywhere from two to four miles straight east of me, and with any luck I should be able to reach it and find a way down into it's canyon by the end of the day. With that goal in mind, I made my decision: I would abandon this stream, climb out and strike east across country until I hit the next stream, where I would climb into the canyon and stay there for the night. Short, little steps, breaking down my ultimate goal of getting to the Gila River and the road into managable, attainable goals. Assuming I didn't get cliffed out or forced to circumvent hazards. Hopefully.

I loaded my pack, filtered water until every bottle was brimming, drank as much as I could, encouraged the dogs to do so as well, then tackled our first hurdle: climbing out. I'd chosen a camp site that I thought would offer a somewhat easy way to get out of the canyon in the case of a flash flood, and it was up a short gully that I now had to climb. Callie, of course, went easily, though I had to lift her in places where she was too small and the ledge too narrow for her to make the jump safely. Ghost, of course, was a problem. I all but carried his seventy-five pound butt up the gully while huffing and puffing myself, with my ribs protesting on every gasped breath. He was all stiff legs and scrambling paws, fighting me with every step. I was more than frustrated with him by the time we reached the top where Callie waited patiently for us, and I dumped him on the ground and growled at both of them to stay put as I went back to the bottom for my pack. I climbed that thing three times, and I have no desire to ever see it again. Eventually though, we were all out, and made our way to the top of the closest ridge to try to get a couple landmarks to navigate by. It was there that my heart leapt into my throat. A building! Far away, on the other side of multiple canyons and hills, but unmistakably a building. I let the relief flow through me, until I tempered it with the acknowledgement that I likely wasn't going to reach it that day. No, I knew better than to think I could make it across the canyons and hills in one day, even if I was at full health and had unlimited water. Distances in the desert are deceptive, and I knew enough to stick to my original goal of making it to the next creek. I still headed towards the building, because there was definite proof of civilization, people, a road, and everything else that would keep me from dying in the desert, but the building just so happened to be in the general direction I needed to go to hit the creek anyway, and that way was as good as any other. I stayed as high as I could, keeping to ridges and hill tops whenever possible. There were many times where I would come across something my brain tried to tell me was a trail, though it always ended up being a game trail or a small wash or just a patch of bare earth. I avoided going into the ravines that popped up on either side of me, wanting to keep the building and other landmarks in sight, but this approach presented a problem: cliffing out. At some point or another, there was every chance that I would come to a place where I could go no farther forward and would be forced down into a ravine, where if I was unlucky I would have to climb down a cliff. If I were really unlucky I would make a climb, find out I couldn't go any farther down, yet be unable to go back up. There has been more than one case of someone dying from thirst within sight of water, but being unable to reach it because they were stuck on a cliff. I was determined to not let that happen to me, so resolved to stay as high as I could for as long as possible, and if climbing down became necessary I wouldn't take a step bigger than a foot or two, theoretically ensuring I could climb back up.

It was slow going, with desert scrub catching at my legs and pack with every step and the sun beginning its merciless scorching of anything living or dead. Soon I was bleeding again, blood dripping down my legs and soaking into my socks, and my ribs throbbed with every breath and step. Ghost and Callie were both limping and trying their best to stay in any shady patches they could find. Often times I would look around and realize they weren't with me, but had stopped on their own some ways back in the shade of a juniper or pinyon, panting and trying to cool down. I was careful with the water, more careful than I was on the first day, but we all stopped and drank sips of water often. I wanted to make it to the creek before midday, but I didn't want us to go down with heat exhaustion on the way there. Plus, I figured we had all day, and even if it took us six hours to make it to the creek we'd be ok at the end. As I walked, I realized I was being funneled between two deepening ravines, and my options for climbing safely down into one of them were narrowing. I could always backtrack and get into one where it was more shallow, following the creek bed like I had the day before and hoping there wasn't a dryfall that would make my life (more) difficult, but I took my chances and kept going forward. If there was a way down into the ravines from the tip of the ridge I was on, I was going to try that way. Once at the edge I looked down. The climb down to bottom where the two ravines merged together was steep, but it was less a cliff and more of a slope, and I considered it managable. Then I looked out and for the second time that day my heart leapt: green! I was completely correct in my distance estimate, there was a stream within eyesight! I just had to get down to it. As I stared at the green strip indicating water, I heard a sound I honestly couldn't identify. Then, as I watched in astonishment, a car drove between the mouth of the ravine and the green strip of land I was staring at. 

The sight of the car, and I presumed the road it was driving on though I couldn't see the concrete, completely threw me. If the road was there, then the green strip sheltered the Gila River, and if that was the river and not the creek I thought I had been aiming for, then I was so far off on where I had guessed I was located that I may as well not have even been in the same state. To be honest, right then and there I didn't give a shit about how wrong I was regarding where I was, I just wanted to get off the damn ridge and onto that road. I didn't completely lose my head though, because cliffing out was still a real possiblility and I needed to get to the bottom of the ravine before anything else could happen. I went slow, picking a meandering, angling path down the slope, holding on to tree roots and branches as I eased myself, gear, and dogs downwards to safety. The last six or so feet were the hardest, with me unable to find a way down that didn't involve a drop of three or four feet. Even that little distance, in our state, could have ended in a broken bone and while I knew with the road so close that it wouldn't kill us, I still wanted to avoid it. I lowered Callie down first, holding on to her front legs while her back legs kicked until they made contact. I dropped my pack after her, no longer caring about being gentle with it now that I didn't have to rely on it to survive. Ghost came more willingly than before, though he put on the brakes when it came to actually dropping the last few feet. Eventually I kicked his back legs out from under him and he dropped, though he stopped flailing when he realized there was flat, solid ground under his feet. I came last, sliding down on my ass in an undignified heap. I didn't care. A few more feet, and our shoes and paws touched concrete.

I wanted to sit down and cry, but we weren't done yet. I had no idea where on the road we were, but the road dead ended at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument, and I had parked about five miles from the visitor center. I picked the direction I hoped my car was in, and began walking. No cars passed me in either direction, and the sun was sweltering at midday, but there was plenty of shade along the road and we took it easy. I knew the pavement was burning the dog's paws so wrapped them as best I could, but I had to keep them moving. One way or another we were reaching my car that day. A couple of miles of road walking later, we limped onto the driveway of a small convenience store and sat in a heap on their porch. I poured the dogs a bowl of water and sat against a pole in the shade, thankful for a break. After a rest, I tied the dogs to the pole and headed inside, determined to get a cold bottle of water and figure out where I was. I ended up talking to the owner, and once he got a good look at me and asked why I looked so rough he offered a ride to my car. I was thrilled! He helped me get my pack and dogs into his truck and drove me the rest of the way (only another two miles) to my car, where we had to lift and carry both dogs from his back seat to my back seat as they both refused to leave his air conditioned cab. I thanked him profusely for his help, and he waved me off as I settled into the driver's seat, air conditioner blasting. I took a few minutes to decompress and allowed the realization that it was over to wash over me. I was safe, my dogs were safe, I was back among civilization, and I had never been so glad to see my vehicle. I still had to drive two hours through canyons, mountains, and forests before I could get enough cell service to call Jared, but just the thought of being able to hear his voice again made me start to cry. It was only three day since I had started out on my trip, but I had had more than enough. I wanted to go home.

Read about how I got lost at The Gila Mishap: Losing the Trail, and the decisions I made that led me to water at The Gila Mishap: Difficult Decisions.

Note: It took weeks for my bruised ribs to heal, and I still have the scars on my arms and legs from bushwacking sixteen miles through the desert. Ghost and Callie were placed on pain medications, and Ghost was put on antibiotics to combat infection in all four of his paws. We wrapped his paws for a week, and it took him as long as it took me to bounce back to normal. This whole situation shook my confidence quite a bit, and I lay on my couch, hiding in my house for days before feeling like facing anybody but Jared again. Callie still got excited when I pulled my gear out to pack for my latest trip, but I very much doubt Ghost will ever want to come with me again. I'm pretty sure I learned more from this trip than any other over the last four years, and they are lessons I'm unlikely to forget. I've never been so happy to be home.

The Gila Mishap: Difficult Decisions

Dismayed. Our second day in the Gila Wilderness started off optimistic. I was sure we'd hit the stock tank within an hour or two, before it got too hot, and once at the tank we would find the trail. We were off just after dawn, bushwacking our way through the desert scrub and scattered ponderosa pines while trying to stick to the top of ridges and high points for better vantage points. I thought for sure I had found the trail when we came across a compact track along the edge of a ridge, but my hopes were dashed as we reached the top of a small mountain and the track fizzled into scrub bush and prickly pear cacti. It was there, on the top of the mountain where there should have been the trail, that I finally had to admit to myself that I was lost. And our situation was borderline desperate. Although I had been careful, we were down to a couple of mouthfuls of water and the desert was quickly heating up, though it wasn't yet mid-morning. I thought I knew which way we had come from, but I began second-guessing myself and pretty soon I wasn't sure at all. I found myself a seat along a charred log, remnant of some long-dead fire, and took stock. We were alone, I couldn't see a trail or any movement beyond the flapping wings of birds, the day was promising to be brutally hot, and we were out of water. We were sitting on the top of a tall hill/small mountain, I thought the trail I needed should be just to the north of my current position, which meant we had come from the south, but I wasn't even sure of that. And we were out of water. Wandering around the desert in the direction I thought the trail might be, or going back in the direction the river we'd left behind the day before might be in, both options with no water, did not sound smart to me, though I knew I couldn't stay on the top of the hill forever. We'd die of thirst within three days if nobody came to look for us. No, staying put was not an option, going north toward the possibiltiy of a trail was stupid, and going back toward the river that was a minimum of eight miles south of us (possibly) would have left one or all of us with heat stroke. The way I saw it, we had one choice: down.

The hill we were sitting on was cut by a shallow ravine that snaked its way east, toward a couple of creeks that I knew from the map cut across the wilderness and emptied into the Gila River. I reasoned that if I could reach a creek, I could figure out where I was. And, most importantly, get water. Once I made my decision, I willingly gave up on my desire to find the trail at that moment and focused on the only thing that mattered: getting into the ravine. I led Ghost and Callie out from their shady spot under a juniper tree and headed down the steep slope of the hill, cutting at an angle that would take me down the gully while dropping in elevation. There was always a chance of finding water high up in the gully, but I wasn't that optimistic; I knew we'd have to follow it down until it reached the perennial creek before we were going to be able to get a drink. By my map, I guessed that we'd have about four or so miles to hike down the ravine before we hit the creek, and I estimated that it would take us a whole four hours to do so. Hiking off trail is not easy, and you're lucky if you can go as fast as a mile an hour. Creek beds, even dry creek beds like the one at the bottom of the ravine, are usually choked full of vegetation, flood debris, and are pitted with waterfalls (dryfalls when no water is present), boulders, and sink holes. Our approach dropped us into the ravine gradually, and it was as we were skirting around a boulder near the bottom that I noticed the track worn into the sandy soil. I'd been watching my feet instead of my surroundings, so got quite the suprise when I looked up and found us facing what was clearly a den. There were canine tracks all around the pile of dirt dug up from under an overhanging boulder, complete with the scattered bones of past meals, and a clear track that led downstream from the den site. I wasn't very keen on trying to stop a fight between my dogs and wild canines of some kind (whether coyote or the endangered Mexican Grey Wolf, I have no idea) so we hightailed it downstream and put as much distance as possible between us and the den. It hadn't looked like anybody was home, but May is smack dab in the middle of denning season, when the pups are just coming out to explore the world, and mothers are known to be fiercely protective. The canine track was clear, and followed the path of least resistance downstream, so Ghost, Callie, and I stuck to it. Not only was it the easiest path, but there was no way a den would be located too far away from a water source, and following the canine's trail would be the quickest way to find it. The only thing that could've been better would have been a man-made trail with a sign saying "water this way", but I took what I could get. It still wasn't an easy hike. The canines are shorter than humans, and I found myself crawling under or over downed logs or swatting aside branches more often than not, while Ghost and Callie breezed through like it was nothing. We moved along quickly at first, though after a time the ravine deepened into a canyon and narrowed, creating debris dams across the creek bed, and we began to come across more and more dry falls. The first few were easy, a step or two down a rock and we could move on, but it wasn't long before we had to stop and search for a way around or down the dryfall. The canine trail we were following always dispersed and disappeared in these areas, and it seemed as if each individual member of the pack found their own way downstream until they reconverged further on. We had down-climbed several shorter dry falls with relative ease, but I stopped short at the tallest one yet. The creek bed dropped away from under our feet for what may as well have been a mile, and it was around this time that I found out Ghost is afraid of heights.

While I searched for a somewhat safe down-climb that wouldn't leave me in a pile of broken bones at the bottom, Ghost absolutely refused to come within ten feet of the edge, insead retreating to a safe distance and laying on his belly while a low whine rumbled from his throat. I ignored him while I searched and eventually found a way I thought we could climb down, though there was no way I could do it while wearing my backpack. I always carry a length of rope with me (because I'm a good boyscout), but was concerned about it breaking under the weight of my pack. Instead, I tied the two dog leashes together and looped one end around my pack, then lay on my stomach right at the edge to slowly lower my gear over the falls. Both leashes are six feet long, and when my pack finally touched the creek bed below my arm was fully extended over the edge and barely holding on to my end of the leashes, but my gear was down without incident. Then it was our turn. I went first, coaxing Callie and Ghost along with me. Callie followed willingly enough, though she was cautious. I'd like to think the years of hiking with me has instilled some trust into her, to know that I'll always catch her, and that trust showed when she jumped to me over a particularly scary spot on our descent. Her and I reached the bottom with no issues, and she promptly lay down in the shade to rest. Ghost, on the other hand, was a problem. He had followed Callie to the edge, but stopped short when we went over it and stood back, crying in a way that I've never heard before. He was terrified, and I was leaving him behind. I scrambled back up the was I'd come after getting Callie safely down, and did everything in my power to calm Ghost down. I'd snagged one of the dog leashes on my way back up, and it was only by slipping it over his head and forcing him to follow me that I even got him to begin the descent. Then, halfway down, the idiot dog decided he wanted to be on flat ground that instant and before I could do anything, he jumped. And of course, landed poorly. I slid the rest of the way down to where he was crying again, frantic and terrified he'd broken a leg. He was shaking and crying, and practically flung himself at me for comfort as I skidded to a stop next to him. The three of us sat there for a long while, resting and recovering from our climb, but eventually I coaxed the dogs up again. Ghost didn't want to put any weight on his back right leg, but he would use it carefully once we got going. It wasn't broken, but it definitely didn't feel good either. I watched him carefully after that, especially as we climbed down a few more dryfalls, though nothing as bad as the twelve foot one.

It was at the base of the last dry fall that we finally found what we'd been looking for: water! A tiny seep spring oozed out from under a small rock, just enough to wet the ground under a bed of last winter's leaves. I dug with my hands until enough water filled the small bowl for the dogs to get a drink, though there wasn't enough for me. I didn't mind, because a spring there meant we weren't far from a real creek, and it wasn't long before the rushing sound of water over rocks reached our ears. Soon I could see sunlight reflected off a small creek, and once we stumbled out of the canyon we'd been trapped in for six hours it was all I could do to shed my pack, grab my filter, and throw myself into the water. Callie and Ghost hopped right in after me, and we all drank our fill as we lay in the clear, cool water. We stayed put for over an hour, resting, drinking, and filling up the bottles. I pulled my map out and identified where I thought we were, and guessed that we were a half-mile to a mile downstream from the trail I had meant to be on. I considered following the creek downstream, to the Gila River and the road that parallels it (the only road for miles in any direction) but the topographic map indicated a steep drop in the creek bed further down from where I was, and I wasn't dumb enough to think we could survive down-climbing an active waterfall, especially not with my pack, Ghost's injury, and a lack of climbing equipment. We'd gotten lucky already that Ghost hadn't broken anything, and I wasn't about to push that luck further than needed. So, we headed upstream.

The stream and surrounding canyon were vibrant and gorgeous, shaded and cool and a perfect mix of pale, rusty rocks with bright green vegetation. Springs seeped down rocky walls and hanging gardens crowded the damp ledges, while little fish flitted around our feet as we walked through the knee-deep water. At every curve in the creek I looked for a way in or out of the canyon, keeping a sharp eye out for something that looked like a trail. In places the clear creek was wide and shallow, no deeper than my ankles or knees, while in some places the canyon walls closed in and the water deepened to a dark, clear green with murky depths. In most places where this happened the water level rose to my waist and I had to hoist my pack higher to keep my gear dry. It was there that Callie transformed into her graceful, lithe, water-loving self and swam circles around me as I slogged through the sandy creek bed. Ghost, on the other hand, would stand where the water could touch his chest and whine until he realized I wasn't coming back for him, at which point he would launch himself as far as he could towards me then attempt to walk on top of the water, splashing and carrying on until all three of us were drenched. It was only by walking backwards, facing Ghost, that I kept my gear dry; wet clothes and sleeping bag would spell hypothermia within hours at night, and I really, really didn't want to have to deal with that on top of everything else. Our biggest challenge of the day, even bigger than bushwacking without water and down-climbing dryfalls, came when I tried to cross another pool that turned out to be deeper than I anticipated. Fortunately I was going slow so when the bottom dropped out from under one foot I was able to back up quickly enough to keep my pack dry. I backed up to a sand bar and dropped my pack, going forward alone to find a way across the pool. As I went, the water only got deeper until it was up to my shoulders, though that was as deep as it got. At the far side was a ledge at chest height where the pool ended, and a dry place I could put my pack once I got it across. I headed back to the sand bar and the dogs, who had been watching me with various degrees of anxiety (none, in Callie's case, overwhelming, in Ghost's), and grabbed my pack. With some effort I hoisted it over my head and held it up, feeling with my feet as I crossed the pool. Once I secured my pack above the water on the other side, I kicked off the rock and swam back, gliding on my back while letting the sun warm my face. The water felt marvelously cool, and for a moment I pretended that I was just taking a break before continuing on a long trail, that I wasn't lost, alone, in the desert, and that I would be able to call Jared and tell him about the amazing swimming hole I had found. The spell ended when I straightened up and walked the rest of the way back to the dogs. Callie was ready to follow me, but once again I had to leash Ghost and force him to get in the water. He tried to cling to me as we went across the pool, and if I hadn't already been completely soaked from my swim I would have been from Ghost's splashing. I lifted Callie out of the water and onto the rock ledge next to my pack, and it was as I was trying to shove Ghost out of the water that it happened: a rock I'd been standing on shifted and I slipped, coming down hard on my right arm and ribs, knocking the wind out of me. The next thing I knew I had slipped under, and it was a reflexive kick that jerked me back to the surface before I could open my mouth and inhale a lungful of water. I scrambled onto the dry ledge as best I could, gasping and coughing and just trying to breathe. My ribs screamed in agony and I was staining my clothes red from the blood on my elbow, but I didn't move as I tried to breathe again. I have no idea how long passed, thirty seconds or thirty minutes, before I finally gathered myself and sat up. Every movement sent a stab of pain through my right side, and I knew then and there that I wasn't going much farther that day. I had already fallen into the trap of thinking the trail had to be right around the next corner, it was right around the next curve, it had to be. I was fooling myself. The trail wasn't there, I wasn't where I thought I was, the day was growing old, I was soaking wet, I was now injured, and I was facing another night lost in the desert. At least this time I had water. It was torture to put my pack on again, but there was nowhere big enough for me to pitch my tent where we were at, and I knew we had to go on a little bit more. We went a whole lot more slowly, little steps with frequent rests from then on, stopping whenever it hurt too much to breathe. I was bleeding all over my clothes and pack, but I hardly cared. All I wanted was to find a place to stop for the night, change into dry clothes, and sleep away the horrible second day.

I finally found a place above the creek on a sand bar just big enough to squeeze my tent, and set about making camp. Thankfully all of my gear was dry, and I spread my wet clothes out to dry overnight as I worked on set up. I tended to the gash on my arm and the various cuts and scrapes on my legs, then worked on the dogs. Callie was limping slightly, and her paws were a little rough but she wasn't bleeding and seemed like she was just sore. Ghost was worse off, with his paw pads raw and his own cuts and scrapes up his legs and onto his underside. I field dressed his and my injuries as best I could with my little first aid kit, and set a makeshift splint on his right leg as a percaution and for support. Neither he nor Callie moved much from where they laid down when I set up my tent, and I brought their dinner to them as I prepared my own. Evening settled around us slowly, and now I wish I had taken pictures of where we camped that night. It was beautiful, surrounded by bright red wildflowers that attracted hummingbirds, the creek a short distance from the tent flap, bubbling away. At the time I wasn't thinking about pictures, instead worrying about how the hell we would get out of the canyon if a thunderstorm were to pop up. I know better than to camp next to a stream, especially in a canyon, but our injuries, the encroaching evening, and my fear of leaving the water kept us in place. I planned a way we could climb above a flash flood if we had to, but I didn't need to worry. That night the sky was clear and the full moon was so bright I could see inside my tent without the use of a flashlight. It was that night, though, that was the worst of the trip. I broke down and allowed myself to think horrible things, things that I'd been battling since the night before when I'd still had hope of finding the trail. I had failed to find the trail, I was alone, and I began to wonder if I would ever see Jared or my family again. I defaulted to planning, my defense against unpleasant thoughts, and began to figure out how to survive for seven days. Nobody knew I was lost, it was the second day of a seven day trip, and nobody would know something was wrong until I didn't make contact on the following Sunday when I should have been on my way home. Strangely enough, it was realizing that I still had six days to get myself out of the desert that gave me comfort. Sure, I wasn't quite sure where I was, and yes, I had begun to question which direction north was even though I was looking right at a compass that clearly pointed north (which tells you my state of mind right there, because I never lose my sense of direction), but I could do this. I had decisions to make in the morning, needing to decide whether I would stay with the creek and continue following it upstream, hoping to stumble across a trail, or if I would climb out of the canyon and strike out across the desert, heading east to the second of two streams that should cut north-south across the Gila Wilderness. I stopped at those options, telling myself to sleep on it and make my decision in the morning. Ghost and Callie had long since passed out, huddled close (Callie in the bag with me, Ghost practically on top of me), and as I settled back I focused on the sounds of the creek to help me drift off to sleep. I could handle everything else in the light of a new day.

How did I end up lost in the Gila Wilderness? Read The Gila Mishap: Losing the Trail to find out.

The Gila Mishap: Losing the Trail

Disquieted. I've never been more nervous before an adventure. Sure, there were the normal stresses associated with trip logistics such as route planning, securing permits, and finding a place to leave my car, but for some reason I had a knot of anxiety regarding the whole trip sitting low in my stomach for weeks before I actually headed out. Despite my bravado whenever I talked to someone about what I could expect from seven days alone with my dogs in the New Mexican desert wilderness, I was undeniably on-edge. It became a sort of joke, me telling someone that I was heading into wolf/bear/cougar country alone. In the desert. With a limited water supply. For a whole week. Of course, being me, I laughed off everyone's concerns, including my own. I was prepared with the proper gear, know the desert very well (I live for the desert), and have more than enough skills and experience to do exactly what I had planned. Also being me, I left an itinerary with my husband and my dad, detailing where I expected to be each day, identified where I thought I'd camp, and spotted bail-out options if needed. A little note at the end mentioned that if they heard from me before a full seven days were up, then something was wrong. I did not have to mention that if they didn't hear from me on the seventh day, they needed to send a search party. That part was understood.

My drive to the Gila Wilderness in western New Mexico was perfect. Just me, Callie, Ghost, and the road. I visited Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument when I arrived in the area, because duh, then found the area to park my car, and got my gear together. My pack wasn't light; I had seven days worth of food, five liters of water, a bear canister, a change of clothes, water filter, navigation gear, camera equipment, and the end result of a twenty minute argument with my husband that I lost: a gun. I've carried all of it (aside from the gun, that was a first for me) before, but not so much at once, so my normally thirty-five pound pack was closer to forty-five pounds. And that was without any of the dogs' stuff. Fortunately, Ghost has a backpack of his own, and he carried all of the dog food and other necessities for him and Callie. Once loaded up, we were off!

The trail immediately put us into the Gila River. Did I mention Ghost hates water? I had to all but drag him into the river right from the start, but once he was actually in it, he picked up his feet and carried on. Callie, of course, was perfect and dove right in, though I am happy I kept the leash on her because she would have been swept downstream with the current if I hadn't. A couple of turns of the river and we were out of sight of the parking lot, and alone. We followed a meandering trail that crossed the river more times than I kept track of, and sometimes the river was the trail. We walked along a lush riparian zone, through grasses taller than my head, around bowing cottonwoods and slender willows. Less than a mile from the car we were deep within a broad canyon whose slopes climbed above the river to arid, sun-baked heights. Somewhere among those heights was our first campsite for the night, near a stock tank that was hopefully full of rain water.

Three miles from the parking lot, our trail turned us away from the river and headed up. We left the cool breeze that flowed just above the current, and it wasn't long before all three of us were panting and chugging water. The trail up was sandy and exposed, and we stopped often in the hot shade of juniper trees to pluck cactus needles out of shins and paws. Ghost seemed to have perfected the art of walking straight into the biggest patch of prickly pears on either side of the trail, and his blood was the first to smear the Gila dirt. Callie was a little bit better, perhaps because she's done this a time or two before, and avoided most of the cacti with practiced ease. Even I couldn't avoid them all, and soon the stinging needles were driving us all mad. The sun wasn't helping, with its blinding glare and headache-inducing heat. I began to question the wisdom of my planned trip, though I always do on the first day. First day is the worst, but by the end of the first night I remember why I love doing what I do. I just reminded myself of that fact as I followed the carins marking our trail up the sloping hills, winding deeper into the desert wilderness.

Somewhere between water breaks, around the time we topped a ridge and confronted sweeping views of the desert laid out around us, I realized it had been a while since I'd last seen a carin. Carins are piles of rocks, deliberately placed in pyramid-shaped configurations to attract attention, or else stacked rocks with larger ones at the base and smaller ones at the top. Either way, they are made to be hard to miss. This method of trail-marking is common in a lot of the western parks I've hiked, especially among rocky areas where a track can't be worn down to show the trail. The Gila had proven to be no different, up until the point where I could no longer find a carin. I wasn't too worried; I had my map out and had been following our trail as we snaked to the top of the ridge, and so headed in the direction I knew the trail should go, expecting to hit the stock tank within a mile or so where we would stop for the night. Except that after a mile and a half, there was no stock tank full of rain water. And we still hadn't struck the trail. We had less than an hour before sunset. Oh, and we had a half-liter of water left. I gave up, found a relatively flat place that wasn't really flat at all, and pitched my tent. There was no use in blundering around the desert at night, not when temperatures drop to the fortys and predators come out to play. Dinner was half a granola bar and a bit of jerky for me, and a proper meal for the dogs, but only a sip of water each, while I resolved to find the trail again in the morning, fill up our bottles at the stock tank, and put the worst day behind us for the rest of the trip. I couldn't help but wonder to myself as I tried to fall asleep, lying on too much of a slope that had the dogs and I crammed tightly against the wall of my tent, how it had all gone wrong on just the first day. Damn that gut feeling.

A Snapshot and The Scoop: He Filled Those Straps

Look at how big Ghost has gotten! Just six months ago he was a tiny little puppy who was swallowed by this backpack (check out the picture here), and now look at him! He's completely grown in to it, and he'll continue to grow a little more for a few more months yet! I took Ghost and Callie on an adventure in West Texas and finally got to put Ghost's backpack to good use - he carried all the dog food, bowls, and their water! I was so proud of him, he kept step with me every inch of the way and the backpack didn't bother or slow him down at all. My little grey adventure pup isn't so little anymore!

Leave me a comment below with a picture of your adventure pup in their travel gear!

Capable and Competent

Assured. I've got a new one for ya: somehow, I had to convince the man standing in front of me to let me backpack. I had arrived earlier than expected at Monahans Sandhills State Park, tucked back in the Chihuahuan Desert in western Texas, and decided to make the most of my time by backpacking out onto the dune field to spend a night among the sands. For past trips, if I had to talk to anybody at all it was just to talk to the wilderness ranger and receive my permit. This time, I had to convice the park ranger in front of me that I was a capable and competent backpacker - something I had no idea how to do. I understood his position: the dune field stretches on for hundreds of miles north, east, and west, with very few distiguishing features to navigate by and even less water to support survival in the desert heat, with no shelter to hide from the sun, storms, or wind. Simply put, he didn't want to have to look for me if I failed to check out in the morning. I was lectured about the importance of navigational experience, being able to keep my head, and was warned on more than one occasion that backpacking into the dunes was not something they let just anybody do. Apparently I convinced him I was capable, because twenty minutes later I was filling up my water bottles and loading my pack for an overnight in the dune field.

Talk about a huge confidence (and ego) boost for me! Some time in the last few years I've developed from a novice hiker with no experience and only book smarts to a seasoned backpacker confident enough to take friends with me on crazy adventures and to hold my own on trips that would leave others hoplessly lost. How did that happen without me noticing?!? My spirits soared as I began my trek into the dunes. I had meant to get out to Monahans for ages but never made the time; now I'm wondering what took me so long. I mean, the desert is less than six hours from my house! Comforting and familiar, the dunes reminded me of one of my favorite national parks in Colorado, though they're smaller here, with more vegetation and I didn't get the mountain vistas, but they are definitely sand dunes and I couldn't have been happier. I want to hike every mile of that park, to find every water seep that makes life possible, to feel the hot surface give way to cool sand under my toes.

Callie, Ghost, and I had a lazy afternoon, hiking about a mile and a half through loose sand and thorny vegetation before I let the dogs pick a spot to camp. The first dune bowl they both went in to after I was ready to find a site became our home for the night. The dogs ran loose, kicking up sand as they flew up and down the dunes around me while I set up the tent. I'm pretty certain they were just as excited to be camping and hiking as I was. We explored all around our camp, rolling and played in the sand with abandon. I let the sun warm my bones, the last of my stresses drifting away with the breeze as the afternoon wound down and the sun slowly sank toward the horizon.

Night on the dune field wasn't too dark, even with no moon. In the reflected glow of the stars we listened to coyotes calling around us, though none of the packs came close enough to alert the dogs. A restful night was followed by a cool dawn, and it didn't take me too long to pack up and begin our hike out. Through the whole trip I'd been sure to mark any significant landmarks within eyesight, including an oil pumpjack, a windmill, and a strip of power lines. I followed the landmarks back to the lot where I'd left my car, trailing behind the dogs as they ran circles around me in the soft sand. Upon my return I made sure to check out with the rangers so they knew I was safe and sound, and grateful for the night in the dunes they'd let me have.

What I'm listening to: Show Us The Way by Patrick Doyle

Desperate to Escape

Frantic. It had been way too long since I'd travelled, and I was desperate. Life had caught me up in its grip, and where I can usually carve out a weekend for myself once in a while, that just hadn't been possible for nearly three months. What with us buying a house, packing, moving, unpacking, and general busy-ness I couldn't even take a break for two days to get the recharge I knew I needed. I become a grumpy, moody bitch when I am stuck in one place too long (ask Jared, I'm sure he'll tell you how bad I can get, and why he practically pushes me out the door when I do have a trip planned) and I had reached that point and far surpassed it sometime in January. It wasn't until the middle of February that I got a chance to run away for a weekend, and I jumped at it.

I had a general plan in mind to hit as many state parks between home and the western border of Texas as possible in two days, and so took off immediately after work on a Friday to put some miles under my tires. Of course, leaving after work meant I hit Dallas in all its Rush Hour Glory. I'm pretty sure I spent as much time at a stand-still on the interstate bisecting the southern part of the city as I did driving from Tyler to Dallas. I'm not the most patient person, especially in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but keeping the fact that I was finally travelling and would be snoozing in a tent sometime that night in mind allowed me to overlook my annoyance and just be happy I was with my adventure pups in a car on my way to somewhere beautiful. I felt my anxieties drain away as the miles between home and I increased. It was good to be back on the road.

The first thing I saw when I got to Abilene State Park was a herd of deer flanking the shoulders of the road, followed immediately by a wild hog running for the cover of nearby bushes. It was well after sunset when I arrived, and I took longer than normal to figure out where the hell I was supposed to pitch my tent on the dark, poorly marked park roads. After I finally figured out where the tent-only area was, set up was a cinch even though it'd been three months too long since I'd last camped. I guess pitching a tent is kinda like riding a bike - muscle memory takes over and you don't need to be retaught how to do it! Callie was just as tired as I was, patiently waiting to climb into my sleeping bag and promptly passing out. Ghost, however, was still wound up, listening to every night noise around us, especially the coyotes. He just wouldn't settle and kept circling the confines of my small tent, looking for reassurance and giving hugs until he finally lay down by my head. Did I mention my tent is small? It's built for two adult humans, and pretty much nothing else. Ghost's body touched both tent walls as he curled up around my head, but at least I was warm and toasty. As I tried to get comfy and use him as I pillow I reflected to myself that teaching Ghost "Hugs" may have been a bad idea... I know most people don't appreciate an 80 pound dog jumping up on them, but I absolutely love his cuddles, and enjoy being able to nearly look him in the eye when he stands up and puts his paws on my shoulders. To each her own, I guess.

Only after we were all snuggled in to the sleeping bag did I realize it was way earlier in the evening than I thought it'd been. That's one of the things about winter camping - it gets dark early. Sure, you can stay up and make yourself a camp fire (if they're allowed where you are), or read, or play cards, or write, or whatever you want, but sleeping has always been my favorite way to pass the evening hours of a winter trip. Where at home I'd be up till ten o'clock or so, when I'm travelling and the sun goes down at six or seven I'm ready to hit the sack. I was doing just that, on cusp of sleep in that lucid state between reality and dreams, when Ghost let out a booming bark and I bolted upright with a jolt of adrenaline coursing through my veins. Even Callie let out a muffled growl from the depths of the sleeping bag, though she didn't stir otherwise. More tent campers had arrived, choosing a site across the deserted tent-only area, but still close enough to catch Ghost's attention. It took me telling Ghost to stand down several times before he finally settled again, though a growl rumbled against my ear every time a voice lifted enough to be distinguishable from the activity of unloading their gear. Trusting Ghost would wake me if anybody bothered us, I let myself drift off. I slept like the dead.

What I'm listening to: Song of Mor'du by Patrick Doyle

A Snapshot and The Scoop: A Siren Song

The pups and I came across this little spring tucked deep back in the trail network of Lost Maples Natural Area and we couldn't pass up the chance to soothe our tired paws. We hadn't left camp long before, but already we were footsore and panting from the mid-morning heat. The spring seeped from a little ledge, dripping down into a pool and filtering through the rocks under our feet to join with the seasonal river that carved the canyons and hills around us. Hill Country, especially the area closer to the arid deserts of west and south Texas, is a wild place that calls to me whenever I tire of the oppressive humidity of the piney woods that I call home. I haven't been back to the hills since my visit to Lost Maples, what with the holidays, buying a house, moving, and settling in (ya know, life) but I'm about ready to end my hiatus and head back. I need to get back on the road and get lost somewhere beautiful, if only for a weekend; I feel my well-being deteriorating the longer I stay in one place. This spring just might be calling my name, a siren song that is growing harder and harder for me to resist.

2017 Wrap-Up: A Big Year

Venturesome. What a year! So much has happened this past year its hard to know where to begin. I went on several major trips, sprinkled with many more little ones throughout the year. The biggest adventure: I married Jared in front of our families up in Nebraska at the beginning of July! Read on to see what else I've been up to, and at the bottom of this post you'll find the usual summary of travel stats for the year.

I try to take a birthday trip every year, though sometimes I find that pursuit difficult considering my birthday is in the middle of January. I chose to go to the beach this year, and while it wasn't hot and as sunny as I wished it was still better than snow!

In February I found myself and Callie sweltering in eighty degree weather in the Hill Country of Texas, enjoying our time backpacking at Colorado Bend State Park. It was our first of many backpacking trips this year, and it made such an impression that I want to go back! Maybe another February trip is in order!

This year I did something I've never done before, and travelled for work. Jared had the pleasure of accompanying me (other way around, but still) as we transported a sick cat to Houston for veterinary care, which included an overnight in the city. While I wouldn't wish to be stuck in a tiny exam room for so long ever again, it was still an interesting experience!

In March Callie and I headed back to Hill Country and tucked ourselves into the canyons at South Llano River State Park. I don't often arrive at a campsite with lots of daylight left, and our little secluded camp felt like a true, much needed retreat. Even if the armadillos were loud as they ran through the long grass.

Once again my little adventure dog accompanied me, this time to Copper Breaks State Park in west Texas during a weekend get-away in April. She is such a trooper when it comes to hiking and my incessant picture taking!

I headed home for the Easter holiday and spent some time with family and fine wine. Also, spending time drinking wine on a patio in Nebraska during April is pretty darn good!

Our fourth annual Father-Daughter trip has expanded a bit, now including most of my family and a good time at the River Walk in San Antonio. I can't wait to see what happens next year!

My sister and I spent a week and change deep within the deserts of the southwestern United States, where we hiked more than fifty miles, forty of which were along the Grand Canyon. We also tackled Angel's Landing in Zion National Park, and visited numerous other National Monuments along the way. No big deal or anything.

Jared's and my cross-country trip in June and July really felt like three adventures in one, what with us visiting family in Nebraska, North Dakota, and Minnesota. The highlight of the trip? I got to marry my best friend.

I packed up these two pups and headed to the mountains in Arkansas on a whim on weekend in July, needing to get back to my happy place in nature. It was Ghost's first time camping and he took it all in stride! He's going to make a fantastic adventure dog.

August, once again, found Torrey and I in the Colorado Rockies, this time spending several days backpacking in Rocky Mountain National Park in addition to hanging out around Pike's Peak. The best part of our trip was definitely seeing a bear up close and personal!

I took the dogs and myself to get lost in Lost Maples Natural Area, on the edge of Hill Country in September. While we had quite a few misadventures there, I can't wait to go back and explore some more trails.

I headed back up to Nebraska for a few days at the beginning of October and my dad talked me in to going to Indian Cave State Park while there (he really had to twist my arm...) Indian Cave was a childhood favorite, and heading back there brought a wave of nostalgia that I wasn't quite prepared for.

At the beginning of November Jared and I embarked on a whirlwind weekend up in Kansas City, MO to visit friends and attend a baby shower. While I enjoyed the nine hour one-way car ride, Jared did not. Friends are worth it, though!

Also in November I met up with Torrey at Buffalo National Scenic River to backpack fourteen miles along the national trail that parallels the river. I have yet to post about that trip but rest assured, there were many misadventures and several good stories out of the weekend!

Our most recent adventure just concluded, with us spending nine days visiting family and friends in Nebraska for the holidays. Jared and I had a wonderful time, especially when it came to hanging out with our little niece! (Callie looks like she's being squished in this picture, but she had been giving Charlotte kisses just before we took it!)

I struggled through the second half of last year after I lost Meeka, letting myself lapse on writing and travelling. This year I jumped right back into it, filling a journal full of travel entries, and I think I've been better about posting my trips on this blog! I've listed out my travel stats for the year here, and I know I can see an improvement in my travels compared to last year!

Number of Adventures: 16
Time Spent Travelling: 1615.98 hours
Number of Nights Car Camping: 7
Number of Nights Backpacking: 11
Number of Nights in Someone's House: 27
Number of Nights in a Hotel: 9
Number of Nights in a Cabin: 3
Number of Nights Driving: 1
Total Cost: $3912.93
Number of States Visited: 14
Distance Driven: 21,428 miles
Distance Hiked: 147.16
Number of National Parks/Monuments/Rec Areas/Forests: 13
Number of State Parks: 7
Number of Human Companions: 60
Number of Furry Companions: 21
Number of Scaly Companions: 2

I absolutely cannot wait for my 2018 adventures! I am planning two major trips already, but I'm going to keep them to myself until I get all of the details figured out. 2018 is going to be a good year!