Self-Reliant. I would be lying if I said I woke up refreshed. Every inch of my body hurt, from my blistered toes to the top of my head, which I had apparently bumped at some point the day before judging from the egg-sized lump on the side of my head. Neither Callie nor Ghost so much as lifted their head as I struggled out of my sleeping bag, reluctant to start the day. I still hadn't made up my mind whether I was going to head upstream or climb out of the canyon, and pondered the decision as I went about breakfast and breaking camp. I had half a mind to stay with the stream, terrified to leave the promise of water, though I had pretty much given up hope that the trail I was looking for was just around the next corner. I turned to my map and puzzled over it, trying and failing to pinpoint where I was. I knew that the second stream should be anywhere from two to four miles straight east of me, and with any luck I should be able to reach it and find a way down into it's canyon by the end of the day. With that goal in mind, I made my decision: I would abandon this stream, climb out and strike east across country until I hit the next stream, where I would climb into the canyon and stay there for the night. Short, little steps, breaking down my ultimate goal of getting to the Gila River and the road into managable, attainable goals. Assuming I didn't get cliffed out or forced to circumvent hazards. Hopefully.
I loaded my pack, filtered water until every bottle was brimming, drank as much as I could, encouraged the dogs to do so as well, then tackled our first hurdle: climbing out. I'd chosen a camp site that I thought would offer a somewhat easy way to get out of the canyon in the case of a flash flood, and it was up a short gully that I now had to climb. Callie, of course, went easily, though I had to lift her in places where she was too small and the ledge too narrow for her to make the jump safely. Ghost, of course, was a problem. I all but carried his seventy-five pound butt up the gully while huffing and puffing myself, with my ribs protesting on every gasped breath. He was all stiff legs and scrambling paws, fighting me with every step. I was more than frustrated with him by the time we reached the top where Callie waited patiently for us, and I dumped him on the ground and growled at both of them to stay put as I went back to the bottom for my pack. I climbed that thing three times, and I have no desire to ever see it again. Eventually though, we were all out, and made our way to the top of the closest ridge to try to get a couple landmarks to navigate by. It was there that my heart leapt into my throat. A building! Far away, on the other side of multiple canyons and hills, but unmistakably a building. I let the relief flow through me, until I tempered it with the acknowledgement that I likely wasn't going to reach it that day. No, I knew better than to think I could make it across the canyons and hills in one day, even if I was at full health and had unlimited water. Distances in the desert are deceptive, and I knew enough to stick to my original goal of making it to the next creek. I still headed towards the building, because there was definite proof of civilization, people, a road, and everything else that would keep me from dying in the desert, but the building just so happened to be in the general direction I needed to go to hit the creek anyway, and that way was as good as any other. I stayed as high as I could, keeping to ridges and hill tops whenever possible. There were many times where I would come across something my brain tried to tell me was a trail, though it always ended up being a game trail or a small wash or just a patch of bare earth. I avoided going into the ravines that popped up on either side of me, wanting to keep the building and other landmarks in sight, but this approach presented a problem: cliffing out. At some point or another, there was every chance that I would come to a place where I could go no farther forward and would be forced down into a ravine, where if I was unlucky I would have to climb down a cliff. If I were really unlucky I would make a climb, find out I couldn't go any farther down, yet be unable to go back up. There has been more than one case of someone dying from thirst within sight of water, but being unable to reach it because they were stuck on a cliff. I was determined to not let that happen to me, so resolved to stay as high as I could for as long as possible, and if climbing down became necessary I wouldn't take a step bigger than a foot or two, theoretically ensuring I could climb back up.
It was slow going, with desert scrub catching at my legs and pack with every step and the sun beginning its merciless scorching of anything living or dead. Soon I was bleeding again, blood dripping down my legs and soaking into my socks, and my ribs throbbed with every breath and step. Ghost and Callie were both limping and trying their best to stay in any shady patches they could find. Often times I would look around and realize they weren't with me, but had stopped on their own some ways back in the shade of a juniper or pinyon, panting and trying to cool down. I was careful with the water, more careful than I was on the first day, but we all stopped and drank sips of water often. I wanted to make it to the creek before midday, but I didn't want us to go down with heat exhaustion on the way there. Plus, I figured we had all day, and even if it took us six hours to make it to the creek we'd be ok at the end. As I walked, I realized I was being funneled between two deepening ravines, and my options for climbing safely down into one of them were narrowing. I could always backtrack and get into one where it was more shallow, following the creek bed like I had the day before and hoping there wasn't a dryfall that would make my life (more) difficult, but I took my chances and kept going forward. If there was a way down into the ravines from the tip of the ridge I was on, I was going to try that way. Once at the edge I looked down. The climb down to bottom where the two ravines merged together was steep, but it was less a cliff and more of a slope, and I considered it managable. Then I looked out and for the second time that day my heart leapt: green! I was completely correct in my distance estimate, there was a stream within eyesight! I just had to get down to it. As I stared at the green strip indicating water, I heard a sound I honestly couldn't identify. Then, as I watched in astonishment, a car drove between the mouth of the ravine and the green strip of land I was staring at.
The sight of the car, and I presumed the road it was driving on though I couldn't see the concrete, completely threw me. If the road was there, then the green strip sheltered the Gila River, and if that was the river and not the creek I thought I had been aiming for, then I was so far off on where I had guessed I was located that I may as well not have even been in the same state. To be honest, right then and there I didn't give a shit about how wrong I was regarding where I was, I just wanted to get off the damn ridge and onto that road. I didn't completely lose my head though, because cliffing out was still a real possiblility and I needed to get to the bottom of the ravine before anything else could happen. I went slow, picking a meandering, angling path down the slope, holding on to tree roots and branches as I eased myself, gear, and dogs downwards to safety. The last six or so feet were the hardest, with me unable to find a way down that didn't involve a drop of three or four feet. Even that little distance, in our state, could have ended in a broken bone and while I knew with the road so close that it wouldn't kill us, I still wanted to avoid it. I lowered Callie down first, holding on to her front legs while her back legs kicked until they made contact. I dropped my pack after her, no longer caring about being gentle with it now that I didn't have to rely on it to survive. Ghost came more willingly than before, though he put on the brakes when it came to actually dropping the last few feet. Eventually I kicked his back legs out from under him and he dropped, though he stopped flailing when he realized there was flat, solid ground under his feet. I came last, sliding down on my ass in an undignified heap. I didn't care. A few more feet, and our shoes and paws touched concrete.
I wanted to sit down and cry, but we weren't done yet. I had no idea where on the road we were, but the road dead ended at Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument, and I had parked about five miles from the visitor center. I picked the direction I hoped my car was in, and began walking. No cars passed me in either direction, and the sun was sweltering at midday, but there was plenty of shade along the road and we took it easy. I knew the pavement was burning the dog's paws so wrapped them as best I could, but I had to keep them moving. One way or another we were reaching my car that day. A couple of miles of road walking later, we limped onto the driveway of a small convenience store and sat in a heap on their porch. I poured the dogs a bowl of water and sat against a pole in the shade, thankful for a break. After a rest, I tied the dogs to the pole and headed inside, determined to get a cold bottle of water and figure out where I was. I ended up talking to the owner, and once he got a good look at me and asked why I looked so rough he offered a ride to my car. I was thrilled! He helped me get my pack and dogs into his truck and drove me the rest of the way (only another two miles) to my car, where we had to lift and carry both dogs from his back seat to my back seat as they both refused to leave his air conditioned cab. I thanked him profusely for his help, and he waved me off as I settled into the driver's seat, air conditioner blasting. I took a few minutes to decompress and allowed the realization that it was over to wash over me. I was safe, my dogs were safe, I was back among civilization, and I had never been so glad to see my vehicle. I still had to drive two hours through canyons, mountains, and forests before I could get enough cell service to call Jared, but just the thought of being able to hear his voice again made me start to cry. It was only three day since I had started out on my trip, but I had had more than enough. I wanted to go home.
Read about how I got lost at The Gila Mishap: Losing the Trail, and the decisions I made that led me to water at The Gila Mishap: Difficult Decisions.
Note: It took weeks for my bruised ribs to heal, and I still have the scars on my arms and legs from bushwacking sixteen miles through the desert. Ghost and Callie were placed on pain medications, and Ghost was put on antibiotics to combat infection in all four of his paws. We wrapped his paws for a week, and it took him as long as it took me to bounce back to normal. This whole situation shook my confidence quite a bit, and I lay on my couch, hiding in my house for days before feeling like facing anybody but Jared again. Callie still got excited when I pulled my gear out to pack for my latest trip, but I very much doubt Ghost will ever want to come with me again. I'm pretty sure I learned more from this trip than any other over the last four years, and they are lessons I'm unlikely to forget. I've never been so happy to be home.
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