Firm. For those of you who know me well, you know that I love traveling alone; I've also written about it before (at least twice). And yet, I still get comments from people in my life such as "you're crazy to go alone," or "Jared lets you go by yourself??" So here I am, once again, feeling like I have to explain and defend myself. Hopefully this will be the last time I have to do so, because I am going to make myself very, very clear: I don't want to travel with Jared.
Please don't get me wrong, I love my fiancé and enjoy spending time with him. There is nothing wrong with our relationship, and as a matter of fact, I'm happier now than I have ever been in my short 26 years on this planet. He makes me laugh, we talk about anything, we have a family of furry and scaley and pokey critters, and we just get each other. The big thing, though, is that we know how to enjoy time to ourselves. Jared plays video games and watches TV as his way to unwind. I take off for a day or a night or a week to hike and camp in amazing places. Our independent hobbies only help our relationship by giving us more to talk about, which is especially important because we already live and work together. He tells me about the latest show he's been watching (because I'll probably never sit down long enough to watch it myself) and I love showing him my pictures and whatever else I bring home from my travels. Do we miss each other? Of course! Does Jared worry about my safety? There would be something wrong if he didn't. But the minor inconvienences of going away for a little while are nothing compared to the benefits of taking that time to ourselves.
I don't know how much truth is in the old cliche saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder," but I do know that letting us miss each other while taking some time for ourselves helps our relationship. We would drive each other up the wall if we didn't get a break now and then. When you live together, and then also work together in a high-stress workplace, sometimes you just need time away. Sure, weekends are meant to be a break from work, but what happens when you live with a coworker? And before anybody points out that we don't have to work together, one of us could find a different job, you're right. We could. Or we can do what works for us, by living and working together and getting a break from each other occasionally.
Here's one that actually makes me angry: "he lets you travel alone??" Wake. Up. It is 2017. I don't need permission from anyone to travel. I'll say that again, for those who have their heads so far up their butts that they are unlikely to see the sun anytime soon: I don't need permission from anyone to travel. If I want to do something, I am going to do it, and there isn't anybody on the planet who can stop me. Enough said.
I don't always travel alone. Quite often, actually, I am joined by a friend or family, or I travel to meet up with someone. Spending quality time with friends and family on my travels helps me keep those relationships strong as well. Too many times have I seen (and been guilty of) someone spending every second with a significant other while pushing their friends and family aside. If I were to spend every second with Jared I would honestly never see anybody, unless they came down here to stay with us. Ever since I moved Texas seeing my friends and my family has become a little more difficult than a drive across town for Sunday dinner. If I want to see someone I actually have to make sure I have the time off to do so, make sure they're available, and it is at minimum a two-day trip, but usually more. I consider myself lucky to have a friend live only six hours away, instead of a whole twelve hours. I travel alone, yes, but I also travel to spend time with people I care about other than Jared.
I feel like this whole post has been me repeating points that I've already made before, and here's another one: if I waited for Jared to travel with me I wouldn't travel near as often as I do. Jared hates sitting in a car for more than two hours. That's his limit. Any more than that and he starts getting stir crazy (and more than a little grumpy). I, on the other hand, have yet to find my driving limit. Do you see the conflicts that could cause? In response, Jared rarely wants to go with me on a trip, and if I waited for him to want to we'd maybe go on three trips a year. That doesn't work for me, so I go on my own. And you know what? We're both ok with that. This doesn't mean that Jared never travels. We've gone back to Nebraska together, gone to Dallas and San Antonio together, and most notably got engaged on a trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, FL. Jared will travel with me, just not on the random joy rides and week-long camping trips where there isn't a shower for days.
My life doesn't end because I have a fiancé. If you disagree, or you think I'm crazy for traveling alone, for leaving my "other half" behind, then that's your problem. I am a whole person by myself and have my own wants and needs, with my own hobbies and thoughts and likes and dislikes. I choose to be with Jared every day because he adds to my already rich world by coloring it with laughter and joy. I want to be with him and miss him when I'm not, but that won't stop me from traveling without him. I don't need his permission to go anywhere, whether I am going alone or going with a friend. We don't have to spend every second together to know we are secure in our relationship and our happiness, and that should be enough for everyone else.
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